The Beginning of Flesh and Bones

it’s easy to talk about dreams.  it’s easy to dream about dreams.  and yeah, putting flesh and bones on some of the things we hope for it a whole other story.  i recognize that readers at communitas collective are all over the place in terms of “church.”  some are out, some are in, some are pioneers, some are refugees.   and my guess is that there are a chunk of people reading who have something stirring up in their heart about living out their passion for God and people and don’t know quite what to do with it. for some, hope might be scarce and somewhere a long the line the weirdness we experienced in “church” drained us of believing something different was really possible.  for others, maybe you want to start something, shift something, change something, extend something and are starting to know it’s time put some flesh and bones to some of what you are dreaming about.

so what does that really look like?   feel like? practically how can we put flesh and bones to some of our dreams and move them out of our heads and onto the streets?  i want to emphasize an important point here about how i view “church”—i do not view it as an institution in any way, shape or form.  i believe when 2 or more are gathered it is “church”.  i do highly the value of intentional gatherings, of dedicated relationship with a diverse group of people, whatever that looks like.  i don’t think we can learn the ways of love when we only surround ourselves with people we like.  anyway, even though i freely use the word “church” i want to keep emphasizing that it doesn’t really have anything to do with 4 walls and any kind of program.  at the same time, those who read verve are probably in some way, shape or form, considering something beyond just hanging out at a coffee shop with a friend once in a while.  i want to address a few thoughts for those who are wondering & dreaming about somehow participating in God’s mission in a way that maybe they haven’t tried or experienced before .  i am sure there a million ideas floating around out there,  many much more wise and strategic than these, but here are a few thoughts i will toss out about how we poured blood and water and skin and heart into our dream as we started the refuge.

•    find some people who’ll listen (with more than blank stares). without at least a few other people who somehow “get it”  i don’t think it’s possible to pull off a new thing, no matter  if it’s just a different kind of small group or a focused intentional missional activity, or a larger community.  i have seen a few friends start things on their own and what seems to happen is they never really get any traction beyond them.  the energy and encouragement of at least a few people who share the dream in more than just words is incredibly vital.   if you don’t have those people in your life now, somehow, someway, find them.  we can help if you need some!

•    get in touch with the few non-negotiables. for us, when we were planting the refuge, shared leadership & safety for the typically marginalized were absolutely non-negotiable.  we  had people who had built churches and ministries tell us “just find your strong leaders, get the right worship guy (note—guy), make sure you do this and that” and all of it somehow pointed to powering-up and limiting opportunity for our friends who usually don’t have a voice.   everyone’s non-negotiables are different, but i think it’s important to know what they are before you start anything, no matter how big or small.  getting tainted, sucked into old models, and what may be familiar or comfortable is so easy to unintentionally do.

•    examine what it would mean to “fail” or “succeed” and re-consider the word “viable.” oh these were such important ones for us!  the measures of success in almost any endeavor, whether we like it or not, tend to be focused on numbers & growth even in the smallest of systems.  it is we have learned to let go of these, but it is so hard to do when we are stuck with an invalid notion that “viable” is equated somehow with money or a certain number of people.   i often tell people who are thinking about writing books—write it if it never got published.  write it because you’re supposed to write it and you have something you need to say.  i think the same thing is important here.  do it because you have to try it, and i believe no matter what it will have benefit and value.  in our first 2 years we had so many people ask us “are you viable?”  and we’d say “well what do you mean by viable?  that financially we can pay ourselves lots of money? then the answer is an emphatic N-O!”  but we have come to a wonderful place as a community where we will be together whether we have a website or not, a name or not, a checking account or not.  re-thinking  the words failure, success, and viable has helped us in more ways than i can say.

•    consider using the word “experiment” i have really become more accustomed to this language. we’re just trying something and seeing what happens.   we continue to experiment with some good ideas, not so good ideas, and the more i go into them with intention but a looser expectation of myself, of God, of other people, the better off i think we might be.  many could say that’s a way of sort of letting ourselves off the hook too easily and if we don’t take it more seriously then it won’t “work” but it’s been my experience that we learn a lot more in the process and don’t beat the crap out of ourselves as much if we hold it all a little more loosely.

yes, i know, this barely scratches the surface, but hopefully these are at least a few thoughts to consider when trying to add some flesh and bones to a beautiful dream, no matter how big or small.

what are some of your thoughts?