On Off The Map’s home page, Jim Henderson writes
Otherlyness is the spiritual practice of noticing and serving others in ordinary ways. We believe Christians ought to be known for a way of living that is generous and intentionally otherly at its core.
When I’m around other people my attitude falls into one of three categories
- I want something from you: meet my needs
- I don’t want anything but I can’t give either: leave me alone
- I’m available to give you something: how can I be otherly?
Attitude 2 is mostly when I’m in a hurry or my Crohn’s symptoms are bothering me.
The results of 1 and 3 still catch me off guard. 1 seems like a good way to increase my personal happiness. Yet it generally disappoints. It focuses me on my (perceived) needs which decreases my happiness. And it only works when the other person is having a no 3 day. Which is mostly outside my control.
3 seems like it will not meet any of my needs. How could it increase my happiness? Yet it generally does, because almost everyone responds well to ordinary attempts at otherlyness: a smile, eye contact, asking a question and really listening to the answer.
If they respond positively I feel like I accomplished one small yet worthwhile thing today. Which makes me a little happier, whatever else is going on in my life.
Off The Map’s focus on otherlyness is what drew me to it and why I’m a volunteer. Their upcoming Mirrors and Maps Conference will be fun, innovative and promote otherlyness, like everything else they do. Unfortunately I can’t attend this year because of a conflict. I’ll be relying on some of you to report back and tell me how it goes!
I totally agree with you on everything you say, and want to emphasize the positive benefit of point three: I think there is some kind of inner ‘good feeling’ that happens when you do something good for someone. For me, it isn’t necessarily having a goal and accomplishing it, it is just that war…
Thanks for your comment, Al. Yes, definitely there’s that warm fuzzy ‘good feeling’. I’m glad you see good in people who don’t necessarily believe in the same Supreme Being as you. That messed up my theology a lot, actually.
I will totally miss you AGAIN not being there, Helen! But Al, you’ll be there, yes.
Thanks for writing about this, Helen. I think you embody the idea of otherlyness in a consistent way. At least on the web in the forums I’ve seen you moderate and also the handful of times I’ve seen you at OTM.
Ordinary (and otherlyness) is the new sexy. And you can quote me!