I reconnected with the richness and beauty of the world around me when I moved away from my conservative Christian beliefs.
Until then I didn’t know I was disconnected. I didn’t realize my beliefs had narrowed my world until it opened up again and I felt the difference.
As a conservative Bible-believing Christian I believed I could relate deeply only to other conservative Bible-believing Christians. My other relationships were limited (unless I could lead that person to Christ) because we lacked the ‘bond of the Holy Spirit’.
My beliefs blinded me to the many simple natural ways in which I could connect with others. When I lost the beliefs I found myself enjoying people more. Now I am free to appreciate them on any level, not just ‘through the Spirit’.
It wasn’t just relationships that lost value when I was a Christian. Knowledge and art were useless and pointless unless they led people to Christ or deeper in their walk with him. The amazing discoveries and inventions of humanity were mostly wasted time on the way to a lost eternity. Now I am free to enjoy all learning again outside the pages of the Bible.
I was also disconnected by fear. What was not of Christ might lead me astray. I should avoid such things (I’m thinking of books rather than people, who I couldn’t avoid because I was supposed to lead to Christ). This fear happily dissipated as my beliefs changed. Now I’m free to read more widely again.
I don’t want to over-generalize my personal experience. It was my particular understanding of my faith which narrowed and shut down my world, disconnecting me from the richness and beauty around me. I’m not saying it happens to all Christians. Nor that my only way of escape was losing my Christian beliefs.
What I do know is: I’m very glad my world has opened up again and I’m free to reconnect and enjoy it in every way possible.
I hear ya Helen. And living out this side of all of that those words “I came so that they might have life and have it to the full” have extra resonance, do they not? So much beauty in the world, it makes me ache sometimes
Thanks Sue. I have always liked that quote!
Helen, thanks for these insightful thoughts. I haven’t lost my beliefs, but I have experienced a similar process of realizing that the “Christianized” view of the arts in particular has been both restrictive and exploitive (art with an enforced agenda). I also relate to the disconnect you described, which is very sad to see within the church because it honestly doesn’t reflect the God of the Bible. I deeply appreciate the depth you are bringing to this conversation, Helen. It’s good to have you writing here.
Thanks for sharing, Jeff. I thought there might be some other people here who could relate. As a musician I would think some of this comes very close to you – since the way other Christians think of you and interact with you presumably is affected by their beliefs about the arts. The church I used to go to recently started an arts group to support and encourage Christian arts professionals. I was pleased to see that(I found out about it on facebook
).
Helen – Well said, as usual! When I got out of the Christian ghetto and found God at work in all of these “unlikely” places and people who I had been told were “far from God”, I was amazed… and encouraged. I opt for the life of freedom and a God that is much, much bigger than the church.
Thanks Glenn. Freedom is a wonderful thing!
Helen, Helen, Helen… You are so right. I don’t know what it is, exactly, but there is something about living in the tight confines of the fundamental theological world that colors the world grey. I remember taking an art class and being very concerned that the teacher wasn’t somehow working bible verses or bible messages into her art work. I am still a Christian, but I cannot express the difference there is in viewing the world as a holistic thing…instead of compartmentalizing the world into “spiritual” and “not spiritual.” I like this guy’s thoughts along these lines, speaking of this topic: evangelicalinthewilderness.blogspot.com
I am seeing a lot of the characteristics usually attributed to God (creativity, beauty, generosity, compassion, etc.) in people who (gasp!) don’t even admit to believing in or following God. To me, this agrees with being made in God’s image, and not being ‘totally depraved’. But it takes time to unlearn some of those old conservative fundamentals.
Thanks for your comment, Molly. I was thinking there were probably Christians who could relate. Al, yes, it does take time and it was only in retrospect that I could see what I’d been missing. It’s a bit like: before, there was a bright light shining on everything which seemed attractive (security, unconditional love, heaven), but now I see it washed out the subtlety, beauty and richness of the individual colors.
WOW! I can certainly relate to this as well. I was one of the rebels that would ask why we have to fear this so much? :’( They never really could give me an answer that made sense. It made me feel like such an outsider that they just seemed to tolerate. I lived with that feeling for a long time. When I realized I didn’t have to view things like this? It felt like the chains just fell to the floor!
Hi Hannah, thanks for your comment. I’m so glad your chains have fallen to the floor!
Your story is my story is our story. A sad back story it is, but doesn’t it make us appreciate the new story better. Thanks, Helen, for helping us all know that we are not alone in our seeking to find the Way.
Hi Alien Drums, thanks for your comment. I’m glad Glenn invited you to write for CC; I’m looking forward to your contributions!