In a conversation with a friend the other day, I said “I feel like I don’t do enough”.
This was in response to an article that was in a local newspaper. The article highlighted a local family who was evicted from their apartment. They had small children and called 30 churches to see if anyone could help them find place to stay. Half the churches had nothing to offer. The other half said they could help, but only if the family were members of the church.
The article goes on to talk about some city commissioners who recently asked 239 local churches if they would be able to accommodate some homeless people during the winter. None of the churches could. (If you want to read the article, it’s here.) Initially I was livid, as you might know if you are friends with me on Facebook. But I have it on good authority that, like any modern journalism, the story is spun. In this case it is spun to make the churches look bad. It gives scant mention of what these churches ARE doing to aid the homeless.
My friend Donna is closely involved with an organization called HomePDX here in Portland. You may have heard Pam mention HomePDX here from time to time. Home is very basic, in many ways, but manages a tremendous offering week after week. Home operates on a meager budget, and with the help of donations and the participation of some local churches, they manage to feed a crowd every Sunday…a crowd of people who “live outdoors”. And they give things away. Socks and handwarmers, shavers and toothbrushes. Very simple, very meaningful. HomePDX meets under a bridge most of the year, but in the winter they are, by the grace of God, accommodated by a local church.
And then I look at the glitzy, glamorous buildings…the big screens, the new carpet, the hundreds of staff…the things the big rich churches have (and yet still complain that the economy has hit them hard) …and I think “They really don’t know what they have”. Why don’t they do more, why don’t they share? Why can’t they see that they can afford sweatshirts and shaving cream, why don’t they realize there is a need they can fill?
But then…I have to sigh. Because the very next thing that crosses my mind is “Why don’t I do more?” Why don’t I realize what I have? Why don’t I share?
Oh, I could give you a thousand excuses, some valid, most not. We live month to month like most of middle America. But we have a home. We have food and lights and water. We have heat and warm clothing and money to put gas in our cars. We have an address. We have a job.
Why don’t we do more? Because it always seems like there is someone who has more than we do, someone who we think should be doing more because they are more able.
It’s easy to point fingers.
The government says the church should do it. The church says the government should do it. I say my more wealthy friends should do it, the church should do it, the government should do it. Bill Gates should do it. Santa Claus should do it.
Jesus says I should do it.
Sigh.
OK, I get that part.
But, then, what exactly should I be doing?
When I think about it, I realize what it is. I have countless adolescents and teenagers in my home on a daily basis (DAILY)…eating our food, playing our video games, watching our TV, staying until they have to go home, sleeping over, being safe and warm, and loved, even if only in the Doritos and Halo Wars way. Rarely do we say no, rarely do we ask them to leave. They are welcome; our door is open. This is natural for us…we don’t think about what we are doing. They are our kids’ friends, our friends. We don’t pat ourselves on the back for it…it just IS. It’s nothing special.
And then I think of something Ken Loyd, founder and Pastor of HomePDX has been known to say:
“Don’t sell your house and car and stock portfolio to give to the poor. Don’t do anything spectacular. Do mostly nothing special for and with somebody* till you’re dead. Someone else will take it from there. Now, that’s special.”
And something begins to come into acute focus for me here. Maybe it’s about perspective. Maybe we want to see some action, something big and poweful happen. Really, maybe we are livid about nothing being done…simply because we don’t see the “nothing special” others are doing.
I’m not going to spend any more time worrying about the churches that seem like they should be doing more. Maybe they, too, are doing nothing special until they are dead, and I just don’t see it, because, it’s, well, nothing special. Maybe not, but maybe.
Just like someone else might not see the nothing special I do.
So I’m just going to do my own nothing special, the thing I can do and am called to do, until God gives me some other nothing special to do. Until I’m dead.
(*I removed the words “no one else wants” from that quote, not because the words are not valid or valuable, but because I think the quote applies to just about anyone.)
Erin, I love this…I struggle with this on a daily basis also. I go to a large church with a large staff, with a preacher who asks for money monthly, and it makes me want to scream, but then I look at myself and realize that I’m not doing “nothing special.” I had a friend who used to fill his backseat with fleece blankets every winter, and would just pass them out to the homeless as he saw them. Nothing special. But, probably huge to someone who is cold. Thanks for sharing.
you’re right. yes. uh huh. you’re right.
i’m glad you wrote it, even though it probably wasn’t much to write.
we’re going to ruby’s violin recital tonight at a church with a sanctuary that takes your breath away. It cost millions. They do a ton for the poor. They do missions like crazy. I try to remember that when I walk in there, but sometimes it’s difficult.
So- your post was well timed for me
thanks, erin.
oops, i meant to write, “probably wasn’t much fun to write.”
Kari – When you have small children, it makes it exceedingly difficult to brush your teeth, much less do “nothing special”. And in truth, I bet you ARE doing something you don’t realize.
It’s been so very hard for me not to be bitter towards big rich churches. And I have had my moments of rage toward them (specifically my own ex-church). I have chosen for myself not to support them, but I am trying really hard to let Jesus be responsible for how those big churches allocate their funds. He has a louder voice than I do, and who am I to be the judge?
But more than that, they could be doing a lot of nothing special that I just don’t know about.
It’s true, Cindy. When I go to places like that – even if they are doing a ton to help people – I think how much more could be done if they hadn’t replaced the carpet (or whatever) in their last round of remodeling. I think about the church that meets under a bridge and wonder what they could do with the money that was spent on that carpet (or whatever).
But.
God has put me in a place of being who I am and where I am, and it’s best just to focus on the vision he has given me for my “nothing special”. It’s not that I’m apathetic about those churches, but what change does my voice bring? I don’t even go to church, no one will listen to me. All I can do is pray that God brings enlightenment to those who have control over the funds…and funnel my anger into a passion for my own “nothing special”.
Although I appreciate your desire to be generous in spirit (and that is ALWAYS a good thing), I think it is still OK to recognize that since the need still exists, it is a good thing to encourage people to find their personal ‘nothing special’ and do it with gusto.
I know many churches are doing something, but I don’t think it is ungracious or inappropriate to give a little reminder of the emphasis Jesus put on looking after the poor. We can only hope and pray that someday ‘the Church’ will see the number of us who have questioned their priorities and left, and perhaps be interested in what we feel.
I love this post. I especially love how you made mention of the fact of comparisons, that there is someone who has more than you who should be doing something. I think we’re shot when we start making those sorts of comparisons and assessments.
Even though I agree about the big churches. I can’t help but think they are truly disgusting. But even so, even if their existence in the way they are is a disgusting thing, it does not mean that they are not doing anything wonderful either. All a mishmash of good and bad mixed in together, I guess.
Far better to focus on your cool “nothing special”
Hi Al – Oh, I absolutely agree with you. I wish there was more accountability and there is so much more that can be done…for sure.
But for me I have to find a balance between the righteous anger toward the way money is allocated, the bitterness that eats at me over it, the guilt that I should do more, and the recognition that I AM doing what I can. Otherwise I can drive myself crazy, or to tears, over what could be done, but isn’t.
here’s some food for thought. there was a story on NPR on Tuesday about a 19th Century Spanish architect who is being considered for sainthood partially because his beautiful structures alone have been said to lead people to salvation in Christ:
Antoni Gaudi, architect … and saint?
So- can lofty buildings be used of God by leading people to him by the very nature of their magnificence? Certainly that’s one of the justifications many cathedrals.
Cindy – I think there could be something to that when it comes to cathedrals. However, most of the huge churches I know here are in big warehouse type spaces, vast and square and boring, with little or no exterior architecture.
Cathedrals are art, as music, paintings, dance. I think most of us agree that art brings people closer to God in many forms.
“vast and square and boring, with little or no exterior architecture.”
Well, then, maybe that’s a case of the space catching up with the psychology
It could be, Sue.
yes- while the building we were in last night was beautiful, and huge, it didn’t fill me with awe- at anything but the expense of it. the only cathedral i’ve been in is the washington cathedral, and i barely remember that.
I’d love to see La Sagrada Familia
I have to wonder if it isn’t really the tangible testimony of a man who did such an incredible work for the glory of God that leads to people to faith.